Getting Over Ourselves
Moving Beyond a Culture of Burnout, Loneliness, and Narcissism
1. Edition June 2025
Softcover
Wiley & Sons Ltd
Move beyond empty "life hacks" to connect with your deepest humanity
In Getting Over Ourselves: Moving Beyond a Culture of Burnout, Loneliness, and Narcissism, human development specialist and leadership coach Christina Congleton delivers an insightful and urgently needed discussion of how people can break out of the tired cliches of the self-help genre, and move toward new levels of connection, engagement, and capacity in navigating an uncertain world.
In the book, you'll explore how modern attitudes of individualism that were once freeing now converge with environmental destruction, inequality, and an alarming uptick in depression, substance abuse, and suicide to significantly damage the potential of people everywhere. You'll also find concrete strategies--rooted in developmental psychology--that show us new ways to approach these challenging times.
Getting Over Ourselves offers:
* Insights into why "life hacks," productivity seminars, and more "adulting" are not the solutions to the issues faced by people today
* Frameworks that reject the idea that there is a separate, solitary self in need of constant improvement, and connect you with your deepest humanity
* Effective techniques for fending off burnout and ways to move beyond the unsatisfactory status quo
An essential and timely work, Getting Over Ourselves is the antidote to the skin-deep, ineffective "self-help" material that you've been looking for.
Introduction 1
Part I The Urgency to Get Over Our Selves 5
1 A World on Edge 7
Paradise Burning 8
Stressed to Death 12
A Failed Prediction 15
Keynes Versus Hayek 17
The Heart and Soul of Neoliberalism 24
2 Lost Heroes 29
Selfie Generation 32
Lonely Generation 38
Burnout Generation 42
Lost Generation 47
Another Failed Prediction? 51
3 Spirals of Change 55
What Was Enlightenment? 56
From Enlightenment to the Dog Whisperer 58
Tracing the Path of Human Development 61
The Opportunist (Self-Sovereign Mind) 64
The Diplomat and Expert (Socialized Mind) 66
The Achiever (Self-Authoring Mind) 71
Toxic Achieverism 72
Spiral to Arc 74
4 Wandering at an Apex 77
The Self-Questioning Transformer 77
Navigating the Postmodern Terrain 82
Neoliberal Quicksand 87
Destroy This Model 88
Slipping Through the Cracks 89
Part II Un-self Help 93
5 Selfies and Self-Realization
Guidepost 1: From Self-Perfection to the Wisdom of Humility 95
Narcissism as Mistaken Identity 96
Default Mode 100
Narrative Versus Minimal Self 102
The True Meaning of Humility 105
The Richness of Self-Realization 107
Anchoring in the Practice of Embodiment 109
6 Loneliness and Oneness
Guidepost 2: From Separateness to the Wisdom of Interdependence 117
Physical Interdependence: Bodies of Multitudes 118
Psychological Interdependence: The Resonant Brain 125
Spiritual Interdependence: The Garment of Destiny 132
Anchoring in the Practice of Connection 134
7 Burnout and Wholeheartedness
Guidepost 3: From Rationality to the Wisdom of Vulnerability 139
When Your Heart's Not in It 140
Heart as Escape Hatch 145
Mark of the Valkyries 147
Real Compassion 149
Vulnerable Confidence 151
The Heart of Yes and No 153
Anchoring in the Practice of Courage 154
8 Lost and Liberated
Guidepost 4: From Progress to the Wisdom of Openness 159
Dare to Not Know 164
Staying with Uncertainty 166
The Cure in Curiosity 168
Relaxing into Insight 169
The Mindful Brain 173
The Modern Mindfulness Trap 176
Anchoring in the Practice of Wonder 179
Part III Concluding and Beginning 183
9 Friends Between Worlds 185
Calling All Builders 187
Power in Diversity, Diversity in Power 188
Moving Slowly 189
Listening Deeply 191
Loving Fiercely 192
I Don't Want to Move to Mars 193
Room for Alternatives 195
Heroes of Belonging 196
Notes 199
References 203
Recommended Reading 239
About the Author 241
Index 243
