I Hate Myself
Overcome Self-Loathing and Realize Why You're Wrong About You
1. Edition February 2025
304 Pages, Hardcover
Wiley & Sons Ltd
Learn to understand the unaddressed symptom of mental health
In I Hate Myself: Overcome Self-Hatred and Realize Why You're Wrong About You, internationally known Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School Dr. Blaise Aguirre tackles the pervasive and often ignored issue of self-hatred. This book provides crucial insights into identifying and overcoming this deeply disturbing feeling, explaining why common practices of "self-care" or "self-love" often fall short in cases where self-hatred has become an integral part of a person's identity.
Dr. Aguirre shares compelling first-hand accounts from patients who have battled and conquered self-hatred, revealing the severe impact this feeling has on people from all walks of life and their loved ones. The book delves into the roots of self-hatred, associated mental health disorders, and offers practical strategies for overcoming these challenges.
In the book, you will:
* Learn to identify the origins and signs of self-hatred
* Understand the connection between self-hatred and suicidal behavior as well as to co-occurring disorders like borderline personality disorder and depression
* Discover effective strategies for transforming self-loathing into self-compassion
Perfect for those struggling with self-hatred and their loved ones, as well as mental health professionals, I Hate Myself offers a compassionate and practical approach to achieving self-acceptance. Start your journey towards healing today and embrace the self-worth you deserve.
Introduction xi
Structure of the Book xvii
Part 1 Understanding Self-hatred 1
1 What Is Self-Hatred? 3
2 Why Is Overcoming Self-Hatred So Critical? 23
3 Common Signs of Self-Hatred 33
4 The Lived Experience 51
5 What Is the Self That You Are Hating? 65
Part 2 Roots of Self-hatred 75
6 Where Does Self-Hatred Come From? 77
7 Could It Be Temperament or Biology? 99
Part 3 Self-hatred in Mental Health 105
8 Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Self-Hatred 107
9 Other Psychiatric Diagnoses and Self-Hatred 117
10 Other Personality Traits and Self-Hatred 129
Part 4 Treatment and Overcoming Barriers to Treatment 137
11 Targeting Self-Hatred 139
12 Why Is Self-Hatred So Hard to Tackle? 173
13 Reflections of Therapists 187
14 Advice from Those with Lived Experience 197
15 Alternative Treatment Ideas 231
Part 5 Finding Hope and Technology's Limits 249
16 The Dawn of Hope 251
17 AI's Take on Self-Hatred 257
Afterword 263
References 265
I Hate Myself 273
Acknowledgments and Gratitude 275
About the Author 277
Index 279
--Jewel, Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter, humanitarian activist, and mental health advocate, from the foreword
"He caught us empty-handed. Blaise Aguirre genuinely captured the essence of a significant gap in the practice of psychotherapy for mental health conditions. While much has been written about distorted thinking and self-criticism in conditions such as borderline personality disorder, OCD, and depression, no one has singled out the concept of self-hatred as a tangible and coherent phenomenon that can be assessed for and treated directly. I thought I knew what self-hatred was, but I only knew how it manifested in other observable symptoms. As a concept of its own, defined equally by the author and by the generous people with lived experience who contributed to this book, self-hatred transcends diagnoses and can be, or rather finally will be, a core treatment target in the alleviation of human suffering."
--Jon Hershfield, MFT, Director of The Center for OCD and Anxiety, Sheppard Pratt Hospital
"Not only is this book beautifully and compassionately written as itself an act of love and inspiration, it shines a light one of the most underlooked topics in mental health and the lives of suffering people who deserve better. It's not just my hope but my belief that this book can bring relief to millions."
--Dr. Chris Willard PsyD, Harvard Medical School faculty and author of How We Grow Through What We Go Through
